sleepless

Sitting on a porch as the sun’s about ready to do its thing, that is, go down in glory. It begins its prelude by casting shadows off the trees and inspiring birds to sing. A lovely hour.

My hair is messy and I’m sipping some hot tea. Feels like a morning, but it’s definitely not. It is the pre-ending of another day, but it is morning for me.  A new morning that’s not as pleasant as it could be because, as hard as I tried, I could not sleep this afternoon. That scares me just a little since I have to stay alert all night tonight. Couldn’t think of anything else to do besides toss and turn frustratingly in my bed. So here I sit, going to attempt to update this thing.

Starting my nursing job last week went really well and I am very thankful for it. Getting accustomed to working overnights is a little tricky, but I see it as an opportunity to try my hand at the graveyard shift (such a creepy term) and come out with a deeper respect for those nurses, or anybody, for that matter, who do this and have done this for years. (It’s really not my goal to be one of those ‘for years’ overnight nurses, though J) The overnight shift is very laid back and consists of monitoring my patient’s machines while he sleeps, plus a few other things. Can’t go into detail much, but I’ll just say he’s probably one of the cutest little hams I’ve ever met.

Zachary began his job at Half Price Books shortly after we returned to the States. It’s really a great fit for my handsome nerd man, and it gives him good hours. The store is neat because it’s like a thrift shop for books! One can bring a stack of books that they don’t want anymore and sell them there. There’s all kinds of neat stuff to find. So check it out, fools!

Did you like my hoodlum language there? My sister-in-love Nicole and I joined a hip-hop dance class together that meets once a week. Let’s just say I’m discovering a new side of me that I never knew I had. Nikki’s had it all along. On the dance flo’ we got sooooul, or funk, or swag, or whatever you want to call it. And it is SO much fun and great exercise. Yay for trying new things!

Summer’s also included celebrating new marriages, making new friends and connecting with familiar ones, spending quality time with our two families, helping move Zach’s sister into her new apartment, getting excited about a new church, long drives accompanied by Patty Griffin melodies that stick in your head forever, summer walks and bike rides, and the Walking Dead. 

OH. And Zach and I signed our lease on an apartment yesterday! So THAT'S neat! We are very excited and grateful. We are set to move in by our first anniversary in August. 

Coming back to Nebraska from Guatemala was all too bittersweet. What a truly incredible time that was, and I miss it every day. The people we formed relationships with and the culture we tried to embrace have left imprints all over our hearts and we both know that we will be back someday. It’s not surprising that I’ve definitely been bit by the travel bug and in my head I’m always dreaming of the places we’ll go next. J For now, it’s all about remaining connected with our friends there, and yet living in the present here, always looking for ways that God will use us in this city and in our workplaces and within our family.

The sky’s aglow as the sun continues to sink and I’m surprised I finished this before it set! Maybe I’ll try to get a nap in one last time before I have to leave… Happy Evening, you J

love, Rabby Foo Foo

morning thoughts

It’s a quiet Sunday morning here in San Pedro la Laguna.  I’m up before the rest this morning because I didn’t want to risk not witnessing a sunrise over the lake on our last day here. My view from a big rock on the lakeshore didn’t give me the best seat in the house for the breaking of day, but I still had an amazing view and some really good quiet time to myself, taking in everything around me and talking with God. I watched a big crow-like bird snatch a fish out of the water, a woodpecker dash around the sides of a tree, Guatemalan women in the cold lake scrubbing their laundry with strong arms, an old man paddling in a canoe, and a sparrow feeding crumbs from my granola bar to her young. Oh, and on my way back to the hotel, a wandering fellow approached me gently, shook my hand, and asked me out to coffee. He was sincere and seemed pretty harmless, but I declined. He looked like he needed a friend, so I feel a little bad and hope he finds another! haha.

I really can’t believe Zach and I have 3 days left of our international adventures this year. It has seriously gone so fast. We’ll be hugging family and friends in a short while, Zach will graduate in less than a week, and we’ll start our jobs shortly after that. I’ll go back to the culture I know, the ways of life I was raised in, but I do often wonder if I’ll feel different.  I’m positive I will, but I perhaps won’t know the extent of it until I’ve been home for a few weeks. Will I jump right back into the life I used to know in the States? Will it be hard to readjust after the things I’ve experienced here? What I’m most excited about is living in the same city as Ryan, Marc, Mandy, & Nicole! My siblings are the best. What’s most difficult about leaving Guate is parting ways with people who Zach and I now consider family. Also the nature girl in me will desperately miss those mountains and the farm animals walking around everywhere. J

I haven’t really posted lately because I haven’t really had the motivation and because our last weeks have been so busy. I remember a few things that I would love to share with you; some memories that were very emotional. Recollections I want to stick with me forever:

·       

•           Witnessing two cultures come together as a team to paint and roof a house for a widow and her family who resides in the city’s dump. The widow cried and told us she didn’t have anything to give us in return, but the thankful tears in her and her daughter’s eyes were more than enough.      

•       A 93-year old woman, blind and bedridden, also living in the neighborhood at the dump, had prayed for a chair to sit in because she didn’t have one. When one of my dear friends realized this need, she immediately found a way to get a chair from her home to the old woman. I had the privilege of helping get this chair to the woman, who received it with great joy and laughter! She took hold of my arms to better “see” me and kept repeating that she wanted me to stay with her. J       
•     Became friends with perhaps the Tracks’ oldest residents, a sweet couple living in a teeny tiny home the size of a walk-in closet. Passing their home on many occasions during Saturday trips to this community, I secretly always wanted a reason to be let inside their make-shift fence and meet them. Well, when the husband stopped me our way back to the car one afternoon to show me his wife’s empty tube of hydrocortisone cream, I found my reason. The next couple trips we made to the Tracks, I got to see them and bring them a few things, and it always blessed me to be greeted so warmly by them and see their cute toothless smiles!      
•      My heart wept for two little girls no older than 5 years old, running from my friend who called out to them when we saw them downtown in the capital. They were very dirty. One was going to the bathroom right there in the weeds and the dirt, and then she was frightened by us and started crying as she ran away. We wanted to help but lost sight of them. I had never seen such small homeless children like that before right here in the city, but I know there are many. I am saddened and angered at the thought.     
•       Zach and I having the chance to watch a first-time mom undergo a C-section was pretty awesome. Getting to know our friend, Dr. Rivera, this semester has been even better. Life has not always treated him kindly, but his attitude and devotion to God through it all is incredibly inspiring. His goodbye is going to be one of our hardest!   
•       Introducing my husband to the clinic in Palín I’ve been working with and seeing him excited and running with ideas for supporting them in the near future continues to leave me awestruck. As a couple, to have the same heart and passion and vision for something truly brings you closer together. I am so thankful for this guy.

mountaintops

It’s weeks like these that I love. The good-kind-of-exhausting weeks. These past two have left me breathless and so alive all at once.

I returned yesterday evening from a few days traveling in the mountains of Quiché with the Doctor and two new friends, Alice and Ana from England! These girls are my age and in their final year of medical school. Incredibly, both their personalities added a whole new level of fun to our journey and the 4 of us got along so well—3 white girls and a Guatemalan doctor.  A great team, indeed. We spent a lot of time laughing at completely random jokes that you wouldn’t understand (I'm sorry, I always hated when I wasn’t included in an inside joke), learning about each other’s lives, and of course, seeing patients in the clinic located in La Perla—the farm community in the mountains I visited a couple months ago by airplane. I’ve got no pictures to show this time, as I’ve recently misplaced my camera charger! So very frustrating!!! Ah, well, it’s the memories that count.

Since I have no photos, I will try to describe La Perla to you in words.  It goes like this: sun-beating-down during the daytime and fresh mountain air at night. Also, beware the mosquitoes after the sun has set (and giant spiders, cockroaches, and crickets in your bedroom).  Muddy puddles and dusty trails leading to many different places, a simple wooden bridge to walk across over a stream, every farm animal you can imagine walking around wherever he wishes, and all kinds of heavy green plant life along the paths. The beautiful dark-skinned and shy-eyed children meet you along the roads, carrying bundles of sticks on their heads or taking a little brother or sister by the hand. Some dress in the traditional Quiché clothing, but not all. Like I said, they are quite shy (towards us visitors, at least) and you are usually the first one to say hello. If you look up, you’ll spot more children walking or playing in the paths that go up the mountainsides, and if you’ll wave they wave right back and shout hello; it’s not so intimidating to greet a foreigner from a further distance. J

I was very touched after we finished clinic the first day, as I ran into a girl about 10 years old who looked familiar to me. I knew I had probably had a brief interaction with her 2 months ago when I visited the first time in February, but I couldn’t remember it well since I saw so many kids that time. On this particular afternoon, we exchanged hellos and how’s it goings, and then she said my name aloud, “Cristina!” I was so surprised that she remembered my name! I mean, I know that white girls probably don’t come through La Perla too often, so it isn’t too crazy that she remembered, but still for some reason it totally made my day. And now I don’t want to forget her name:  Maylín. 

The way home was a lot of fun. We all came in a pick-up truck and not an airplane this time, so the ride home was pretttty long and bumpy. We girls wanted to ride in the back, and of course Dr. Rivera didn’t want to miss out on such an adventure, so he joined us too. The road is extremely rocky and very twisty through the mountainsides. Nobody got sick or too-battered (we are all sore, though!),we managed to just miss a slight landslide (phew), and upon reaching our destination we were all covered in a thin layer of powder from the dusty roads. The mountains were overwhelming and the views off the cliffs staggering. The Creation we witnessed was just breathtaking and I will never forget that experience! Was especially cool once we got further down and started going through some small villages and towns. I felt like I was in a National Geographic magazine. Whole families all dressed in their brightly colored skirts carrying loads of big sticks to use for fire at home, women carrying large buckets on their heads, men wearing their traditional hats, old wrinkly-faced men leading donkeys down the road. Most every time we passed people, they would do a double take and look our way again. Must have been a little strange to see some very smiley girls waving at them in the back of a truck. J

Adventures like these make me so thankful for my life and that I am part of this big world, even though there in those mountains I felt so very small. It is incredible the places God leads us sometimes. He doesn’t always lead us to the big and wild places like the highlands of some Central American country, but most of the time we do ordinary things in our ordinary lives like going to the grocery store or making a quick visit to Grandma’s house. It’s really anywhere we go that we can be surprised by whose lives we might touch, and more surprising yet, who might touch ours. That's why I love life, and especially life in Christ, because I know who all these good and precious gifts come from.

Happy weekend, brave ones!

Kristen

daily grace

Sometimes on mornings of the days that I drive to Prince of Peace to spend time with my girls, I feel a little anxious. It’s just an hour’s worth of an activity, their last hour of classes, that’s all. Yet I stress out because I know I don’t possess the assertiveness of a teacher and I tell myself I will fail. I will fail to capture their attention, their trust, and their affection. I fear that a teacher or someone will walk in the room and see the girls chasing each other around and myself sighing in the middle not knowing what to do. I fear that a girl will not listen to me and keep finding a way to climb on the furniture, ending in her falling to the floor and seconds later, loud wailing. I fear that the girls will all be in bad moods and start fighting and hurling hurtful words at each other, and to my inadequate Spanish they will not listen, and I just want to scream and cry at the same time because how do these 5 year olds already know how to tear another girl down? Breaks my heart. Yes, all these things have happened many times!

Sometimes I just want to throw up my hands and tell them in English “I am not a teacher! What am I doing here? I cannot control you girls to save my life!” If I really did that that would probably get their attention for a few seconds…but they wouldn’t understand a thing I said. It makes me giggle to picture it.

I get frustrated with these little things, but it’s not until later that I realize something and kick myself: I am NOT their teacher, I am their friend. I am their sister. I am the girl that comes a few afternoons a week and just has fun with them. That is all I’ve been asked to do. And that’s all the girls expect of me. I think from the beginning I’ve put pressure on myself to have orderly sessions with them—to prove myself (to whom? To the teachers? To myself? I don’t even know!) and to be successful. In my head I dream that they will be so thrilled to see me and to sit down nicely to a table and talk sweetly to each other while we work on a craft or a game. When this does happen on occasion, I just beam and gush with pride, but most of the time it doesn’t go according to plan—so what do I do? What is my attitude when there’s only chaos and I have no control? When everything I’ve prepared falls apart? When I want things to go one way and they go the exact opposite?

I suppose I could segway this paragraph into one about how I feel similar anxieties with other areas of life right now—one being the good ol’ job search. With that situation, too, I feel a loss of control. I’ve perfected and sent out my resumé, made phone calls, and found connections, but no matter how much I’ve prepared, ultimately, being called for an interview is a decision left up to the employer.

Right now, these are the two things I’ve been learning to release from my own grip and place it into Someone else’s hands.

The One who is faithful and who has continuously met all our needs from the moment Zach and I said ‘I do’ and ran away from home will never bring us too far that He cannot supply. In time, God will provide places for us to work in the States. And on a more day-to-day level, He will provide me with the strength, grace, and humility I need to show His great love for these little girls I get to “teach” for an hour. (And really, the hard part has always only been that hour, because after school’s out, we all run up the hill to have lunch and hang out and all the pressure to keep their behavior under control is gone, ha.)

This morning, when I started to feel dread because I hadn’t planned the day’s project for the girls yet, I decided to just ask Jesus for peace and decided not to sweat it—I’d wing it. And wing it I did. And it didn’t turn out perfectly. There was crying. Someone did fall off furniture and onto the hard tile floor. There was pushing and shoving and rapid-fire voices speaking out above my own. And then all four of them were trying to fit into a big comfy chair together. But I chose not to get frustrated or worried that a teacher would walk by and see me struggling. I stopped being desperate and instead, I looked at those precious girls being so darn cute trying to get all snuggly in the chair together, and I  chose to be satisfied. They were sharing. They were making room for each other. Rubí took Estrella’s hand and planted a kiss on it. Then I kissed my hand and put it on Rubí’s cheek, which started a hilarious chain reaction of kiss-to-hand-to-faces. There was much laughter and I praised them for being so sweet to one another. Since I didn’t have a whole lot more planned, I decided we’d end early and be the first ones to the houses for lunch before the older girls.

That hour ended and I felt so alive. Alive with thankfulness and confidence and knowing fully that it was the Spirit that helped me overcome my humanness. It is such a human thing to desire control. To have everything figured out. But it is simply impossible and just plain ridiculous to think we can have that all the time, or at all really. I don’t want to fall into the thinking that I own my own life.

Father, humble me when I become obsessed with the outcome, with my own ideal. Put things in my way that give me the opportunity to trust you more. For I know that a well-developed trust can only bring peace.

I don’t always get this right. I tend to feign calmness, but I can actually be a pretty anxious person. Trusting God is something I've got to keep working on all the time. This afternoon, however, He showed me grace and helped me choose the right attitude during my time with the girls. My reward was this: a heart FULL of joy at lunch time.

We laughed a lot.

I chowed down on my first sweet mango.

I got to color with little Marcos afterwards (cutest little boy award)

Girls climbing all over me and tickling.

Got to know the new sisters! (They just arrived at the Home 2 days ago, and they don’t look very Guatemalan to me-- green eyes--? But I can tell their first language is Spanish, so…) This one is Maria and she is super sweet and intelligent! I can't wait to see her again.

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.

Isaiah 26:3

Mama J's Visit

Mom left Guatemala early this morning, and just like that, it’s back to real life. I’m playing school nurse again today at CAG and have had quite the busy day attending to sore throats, body aches and pains, and owies that need band-aids. It’s so much fun and I truly enjoy the kids here! At lunch time I ran over to Prince of Peace and was very surprised to find my usual bouncing-off-the-walls kindergarten girls acting very… chill. We worked on the project I had planned for the whole entire hour! And they were so gentle and made me laugh so much, my heart melted again and again. I was so proud of them.

Our Spring Break/Mom Visit was SUCH a huge blessing and we did a ton of stuff together! From the time she landed, we were pretty busy showing her around and exploring new places. She adapted extremely well to being in a new country for the first time, as I knew she would. Being able to show her what and who we’ve come to know and love here in Guatemala gave me such joy.

                             She got to see Prince of Peace and meet some of the girls:

                         Did some shopping in the markets in downtown Guatemala City:

                       We visited some cool museums to learn more about the country:

                     
                  We ventured to San Lucas to see the children’s home Melissa works with:

                      Our journey to the jungle and Mayan ruins!!! AWESOMENESS.

                      Melissa showed us how to make Gnocchi one night for supper:

      A trip to the Tracks where we get to go help do ministry with the Bradley family sometimes:

                                Making supper at our sweet friend Gloria’s house:

Took a day trip on Good Friday to Antigua to witness the world’s largest Holy Week processions event 

                            (interestingly enough, in 2^nd place is Seville, Spain!):

Sunday we got to take her to the 2 churches we attend, and had lunch with our friends, the Selfs, at a neat restaurant with a gorgeous view of some volcanoes.

On her last day, she got to meet the Doctor and the rest of the wonderful staff at Clínica Salvatore in Palín. Was a blessing to me to be able to show somebody from home the clinic I love so much! 

An unforgettable Spring Break, if you ask me. Thank you Mommio for coming to be with us! It meant so much to Zachary and I, your kids! (Zach’s favorite memory is probably laughing hysterically that one night with you about who knows what…you guys are weird.) You touched a lot of lives in the short time you were here. I see God’s love for you in the way he He orchestrated everything and blessed your visit.

For the hubby and I, we have 3 months behind us and 1 more to go. It’s getting crazy how little time is left. Here’s to 5 more weeks of living with purpose, giving in love, and glorifying our Creator in all we do here in Guate.

Kristen

more nursing adventures

This past week I’ve been grateful for these people at Clínica Salvatore:

there's 3 people missing, but here's a good picture of some of the staff in Palín!

Am loving being a part of this group of people more and more, because they reach out in so many ways to their community.  I think I may have found my calling to the Community Health field of nursing!

Each month both doctors and usually a nurse and maybe a dentist get in a little plane and fly to the mountains of Quiché to a little farm town called La Perla. Last month I got to join them, and this month I get to go again! The only downside to this month’s trip is that the plane’s engine is getting worked on, so we will all have to take a van. With the plane, the trip is 45 minutes. By car, it is going to take us 11 hours because of all the wild curvy roads and mountainous terrain the vehicle has to get through. I am really dreading the travelling (I will be sure to take some Dramamine!), but it will help that we’ll stop halfway to sleep somewhere. Here’s some photos from February’s trip:

This past week, Clínica Salvatore had a great opportunity to take their work outside the clinic again and hold a clinic for the workers of a large textile plant (they make clothes for Target and Kohl's in the States!). It was held Monday through Friday for an hour in the evenings, and I was able to get a ride with the Doctor two of those nights. This was a great blessing for the workers because the cost of their visit was very low, and any medicine prescribed to them was free! Also, it was a great blessing for Clínica Salvatore because it got the word out about us to more people in the community.

A couple weeks ago, I got to join my friend Patty, who is also a nurse, in visiting the elementary school right in front of the clinic. Our mission was to address each grade’s classroom about parasitic worms and how to prevent getting them. Sadly, probably every child in that school has worms living inside their stomach right now or has had them many times in the past. Infections from parasites, which are caused by little worms finding a way to live inside your intestinal wall, are incredibly common in the rural areas here because poor sanitation and poor hygiene is prevalent. Families live in poverty—in homes made from cement blocks with tin or tarp roofs and dirt floors. All kinds of animals mill about the neighborhood, so of course it wouldn’t be uncommon for a child playing outside to come into contact with animal poop. Parasites can also get into the intestine by eating uncooked or unwashed food, contaminated water or hands, or by skin contact with larva-infected soil. Children are especially susceptible. A child with parasites will come to the clinic experiencing diarrhea, abdominal pain, fever, and weakness.

Patty and I talked to the kids about parasites and how they’re caused, demonstrated how to properly wash hands, and went around asking each child to open their mouth so we could drop a little white pill inside, called Albendazole. It was sad and ironic that at the same time we were going around educating each grade about how to prevent worms, the other kids were lining up outside for breakfast which arrived in two big pots: hot coffee and spaghetti. None of the children had washed their hands (I’m not sure if there was actually any running water in the school—I forgot to check—and of course nobody was whippin hand sanitizer out of their backpacks!), and no one was using utensils. With dirty hands, they were reaching into their little bowls of spaghetti and putting it into their mouths. You guessed it. More parasites.

Ahh… Clearly, we are not done health educating here! Being a nurse in a developing country has taught me that I need to remember to be patient with individuals and communities who are still learning how to live healthier lives. They are wise and intelligent people, but a lot of times things like a basic health education or basic tools/medicines that help us prevent or manage disease are not readily available to or affordable for them, such as scales, blood-glucose monitors, vitamins, fluoride toothpaste, vision screenings…the list is endless. Whereas I have had things like brushing my teeth 3 times a day engrained in my mind because my parents and teachers taught me to do that all the time as a kid, the children here do not learn those basic things. Priorities are placed elsewhere, not intentionally, but maybe because the little money made needs to be spent on food, not toothbrushes and toothpaste.

This is the reality that I see every day, and it breaks my heart that people suffer because they lack things that I have always had in abundance! Heck, I’ve always had like 3 different kinds of shampoo at the same time in my shower back home.  Here, my experience in this country is not only teaching me how to be a more culturally-sensitive and health education-emphasizing nurse, but how to just be a simpler person in general. What am I spending my money on? How much do I spend on things I don’t need? What is most important to me? What material things can I cut down on? Who can I bless with my things or my money or my time this week?

As Zach and I ask ourselves those questions, I challenge you to ask yourself those questions, too! How much more could we do with less?

Thanks for reading, amigos :)

Kristen

tweet tweet

It’s a sunny Sunday afternoon, and I was in the mood to sit down with Oreos and a glass of milk and tell you about my obsession with Guatemala’s national bird, the Quetzal. Go ahead and just gaze upon its beauty right now:

It is so breathtaking that it seems almost fake to me. I’m drawn to the shy Quetzal because I guess I’ve just never seen anything like it—except for maybe a Pokemon. It’s iridescent colors and long wispy tail make it seem magical. And the fuzzy head and beady eyes are just plain cute. OH how I’d love to see one. I heard a friend say that only about 1% of Guatemalans die having seen this bird because they are pretty hard to find! I’m not sure if they are officially endangered, but they’re extremely rare due to the growing loss of their cloud forest habitat. However, they still survive in a few parts of the country, like the green forest/mountainous Cobán region:

The Quetzal was sacred to the ancient Maya and Aztec people of Central America, and royalty and priests wore its feathers during ceremonies. Today the Quetzal is still adored and sought after by many people-- particularly bird watchers who travel here from all over the globe to try and catch a glimpse of them. I am most likely going to end up as one of those old lady bird watchers. I'll get Zach to join me once he realizes how cool it is and we'll travel the world even when we're old!

those sweet ancient Mayan dudes and probably a Spanish conquistador

us in a few years

Birds are such amazing creatures. I love God for creating them!

I am pretty sure we won’t be seeing the magnificent Quetzal while we're in Guatemala, but I can hope! There’s a national reserve for them about 3 hours away, but even then I’ve heard that people pay in hopes to see the bird and never actually find one. Come visit us in Guatemala and let's look for one!!

Another fun fact: Guatemala’s currency is named after the national bird. See? So really I see quetzales just about every day:) 

the end

Kristen