mountaintops

It’s weeks like these that I love. The good-kind-of-exhausting weeks. These past two have left me breathless and so alive all at once.

I returned yesterday evening from a few days traveling in the mountains of Quiché with the Doctor and two new friends, Alice and Ana from England! These girls are my age and in their final year of medical school. Incredibly, both their personalities added a whole new level of fun to our journey and the 4 of us got along so well—3 white girls and a Guatemalan doctor.  A great team, indeed. We spent a lot of time laughing at completely random jokes that you wouldn’t understand (I'm sorry, I always hated when I wasn’t included in an inside joke), learning about each other’s lives, and of course, seeing patients in the clinic located in La Perla—the farm community in the mountains I visited a couple months ago by airplane. I’ve got no pictures to show this time, as I’ve recently misplaced my camera charger! So very frustrating!!! Ah, well, it’s the memories that count.

Since I have no photos, I will try to describe La Perla to you in words.  It goes like this: sun-beating-down during the daytime and fresh mountain air at night. Also, beware the mosquitoes after the sun has set (and giant spiders, cockroaches, and crickets in your bedroom).  Muddy puddles and dusty trails leading to many different places, a simple wooden bridge to walk across over a stream, every farm animal you can imagine walking around wherever he wishes, and all kinds of heavy green plant life along the paths. The beautiful dark-skinned and shy-eyed children meet you along the roads, carrying bundles of sticks on their heads or taking a little brother or sister by the hand. Some dress in the traditional Quiché clothing, but not all. Like I said, they are quite shy (towards us visitors, at least) and you are usually the first one to say hello. If you look up, you’ll spot more children walking or playing in the paths that go up the mountainsides, and if you’ll wave they wave right back and shout hello; it’s not so intimidating to greet a foreigner from a further distance. J

I was very touched after we finished clinic the first day, as I ran into a girl about 10 years old who looked familiar to me. I knew I had probably had a brief interaction with her 2 months ago when I visited the first time in February, but I couldn’t remember it well since I saw so many kids that time. On this particular afternoon, we exchanged hellos and how’s it goings, and then she said my name aloud, “Cristina!” I was so surprised that she remembered my name! I mean, I know that white girls probably don’t come through La Perla too often, so it isn’t too crazy that she remembered, but still for some reason it totally made my day. And now I don’t want to forget her name:  Maylín. 

The way home was a lot of fun. We all came in a pick-up truck and not an airplane this time, so the ride home was pretttty long and bumpy. We girls wanted to ride in the back, and of course Dr. Rivera didn’t want to miss out on such an adventure, so he joined us too. The road is extremely rocky and very twisty through the mountainsides. Nobody got sick or too-battered (we are all sore, though!),we managed to just miss a slight landslide (phew), and upon reaching our destination we were all covered in a thin layer of powder from the dusty roads. The mountains were overwhelming and the views off the cliffs staggering. The Creation we witnessed was just breathtaking and I will never forget that experience! Was especially cool once we got further down and started going through some small villages and towns. I felt like I was in a National Geographic magazine. Whole families all dressed in their brightly colored skirts carrying loads of big sticks to use for fire at home, women carrying large buckets on their heads, men wearing their traditional hats, old wrinkly-faced men leading donkeys down the road. Most every time we passed people, they would do a double take and look our way again. Must have been a little strange to see some very smiley girls waving at them in the back of a truck. J

Adventures like these make me so thankful for my life and that I am part of this big world, even though there in those mountains I felt so very small. It is incredible the places God leads us sometimes. He doesn’t always lead us to the big and wild places like the highlands of some Central American country, but most of the time we do ordinary things in our ordinary lives like going to the grocery store or making a quick visit to Grandma’s house. It’s really anywhere we go that we can be surprised by whose lives we might touch, and more surprising yet, who might touch ours. That's why I love life, and especially life in Christ, because I know who all these good and precious gifts come from.

Happy weekend, brave ones!

Kristen

daily grace

Sometimes on mornings of the days that I drive to Prince of Peace to spend time with my girls, I feel a little anxious. It’s just an hour’s worth of an activity, their last hour of classes, that’s all. Yet I stress out because I know I don’t possess the assertiveness of a teacher and I tell myself I will fail. I will fail to capture their attention, their trust, and their affection. I fear that a teacher or someone will walk in the room and see the girls chasing each other around and myself sighing in the middle not knowing what to do. I fear that a girl will not listen to me and keep finding a way to climb on the furniture, ending in her falling to the floor and seconds later, loud wailing. I fear that the girls will all be in bad moods and start fighting and hurling hurtful words at each other, and to my inadequate Spanish they will not listen, and I just want to scream and cry at the same time because how do these 5 year olds already know how to tear another girl down? Breaks my heart. Yes, all these things have happened many times!

Sometimes I just want to throw up my hands and tell them in English “I am not a teacher! What am I doing here? I cannot control you girls to save my life!” If I really did that that would probably get their attention for a few seconds…but they wouldn’t understand a thing I said. It makes me giggle to picture it.

I get frustrated with these little things, but it’s not until later that I realize something and kick myself: I am NOT their teacher, I am their friend. I am their sister. I am the girl that comes a few afternoons a week and just has fun with them. That is all I’ve been asked to do. And that’s all the girls expect of me. I think from the beginning I’ve put pressure on myself to have orderly sessions with them—to prove myself (to whom? To the teachers? To myself? I don’t even know!) and to be successful. In my head I dream that they will be so thrilled to see me and to sit down nicely to a table and talk sweetly to each other while we work on a craft or a game. When this does happen on occasion, I just beam and gush with pride, but most of the time it doesn’t go according to plan—so what do I do? What is my attitude when there’s only chaos and I have no control? When everything I’ve prepared falls apart? When I want things to go one way and they go the exact opposite?

I suppose I could segway this paragraph into one about how I feel similar anxieties with other areas of life right now—one being the good ol’ job search. With that situation, too, I feel a loss of control. I’ve perfected and sent out my resumé, made phone calls, and found connections, but no matter how much I’ve prepared, ultimately, being called for an interview is a decision left up to the employer.

Right now, these are the two things I’ve been learning to release from my own grip and place it into Someone else’s hands.

The One who is faithful and who has continuously met all our needs from the moment Zach and I said ‘I do’ and ran away from home will never bring us too far that He cannot supply. In time, God will provide places for us to work in the States. And on a more day-to-day level, He will provide me with the strength, grace, and humility I need to show His great love for these little girls I get to “teach” for an hour. (And really, the hard part has always only been that hour, because after school’s out, we all run up the hill to have lunch and hang out and all the pressure to keep their behavior under control is gone, ha.)

This morning, when I started to feel dread because I hadn’t planned the day’s project for the girls yet, I decided to just ask Jesus for peace and decided not to sweat it—I’d wing it. And wing it I did. And it didn’t turn out perfectly. There was crying. Someone did fall off furniture and onto the hard tile floor. There was pushing and shoving and rapid-fire voices speaking out above my own. And then all four of them were trying to fit into a big comfy chair together. But I chose not to get frustrated or worried that a teacher would walk by and see me struggling. I stopped being desperate and instead, I looked at those precious girls being so darn cute trying to get all snuggly in the chair together, and I  chose to be satisfied. They were sharing. They were making room for each other. Rubí took Estrella’s hand and planted a kiss on it. Then I kissed my hand and put it on Rubí’s cheek, which started a hilarious chain reaction of kiss-to-hand-to-faces. There was much laughter and I praised them for being so sweet to one another. Since I didn’t have a whole lot more planned, I decided we’d end early and be the first ones to the houses for lunch before the older girls.

That hour ended and I felt so alive. Alive with thankfulness and confidence and knowing fully that it was the Spirit that helped me overcome my humanness. It is such a human thing to desire control. To have everything figured out. But it is simply impossible and just plain ridiculous to think we can have that all the time, or at all really. I don’t want to fall into the thinking that I own my own life.

Father, humble me when I become obsessed with the outcome, with my own ideal. Put things in my way that give me the opportunity to trust you more. For I know that a well-developed trust can only bring peace.

I don’t always get this right. I tend to feign calmness, but I can actually be a pretty anxious person. Trusting God is something I've got to keep working on all the time. This afternoon, however, He showed me grace and helped me choose the right attitude during my time with the girls. My reward was this: a heart FULL of joy at lunch time.

We laughed a lot.

I chowed down on my first sweet mango.

I got to color with little Marcos afterwards (cutest little boy award)

Girls climbing all over me and tickling.

Got to know the new sisters! (They just arrived at the Home 2 days ago, and they don’t look very Guatemalan to me-- green eyes--? But I can tell their first language is Spanish, so…) This one is Maria and she is super sweet and intelligent! I can't wait to see her again.

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.

Isaiah 26:3

Mama J's Visit

Mom left Guatemala early this morning, and just like that, it’s back to real life. I’m playing school nurse again today at CAG and have had quite the busy day attending to sore throats, body aches and pains, and owies that need band-aids. It’s so much fun and I truly enjoy the kids here! At lunch time I ran over to Prince of Peace and was very surprised to find my usual bouncing-off-the-walls kindergarten girls acting very… chill. We worked on the project I had planned for the whole entire hour! And they were so gentle and made me laugh so much, my heart melted again and again. I was so proud of them.

Our Spring Break/Mom Visit was SUCH a huge blessing and we did a ton of stuff together! From the time she landed, we were pretty busy showing her around and exploring new places. She adapted extremely well to being in a new country for the first time, as I knew she would. Being able to show her what and who we’ve come to know and love here in Guatemala gave me such joy.

                             She got to see Prince of Peace and meet some of the girls:

                         Did some shopping in the markets in downtown Guatemala City:

                       We visited some cool museums to learn more about the country:

                     
                  We ventured to San Lucas to see the children’s home Melissa works with:

                      Our journey to the jungle and Mayan ruins!!! AWESOMENESS.

                      Melissa showed us how to make Gnocchi one night for supper:

      A trip to the Tracks where we get to go help do ministry with the Bradley family sometimes:

                                Making supper at our sweet friend Gloria’s house:

Took a day trip on Good Friday to Antigua to witness the world’s largest Holy Week processions event 

                            (interestingly enough, in 2^nd place is Seville, Spain!):

Sunday we got to take her to the 2 churches we attend, and had lunch with our friends, the Selfs, at a neat restaurant with a gorgeous view of some volcanoes.

On her last day, she got to meet the Doctor and the rest of the wonderful staff at Clínica Salvatore in Palín. Was a blessing to me to be able to show somebody from home the clinic I love so much! 

An unforgettable Spring Break, if you ask me. Thank you Mommio for coming to be with us! It meant so much to Zachary and I, your kids! (Zach’s favorite memory is probably laughing hysterically that one night with you about who knows what…you guys are weird.) You touched a lot of lives in the short time you were here. I see God’s love for you in the way he He orchestrated everything and blessed your visit.

For the hubby and I, we have 3 months behind us and 1 more to go. It’s getting crazy how little time is left. Here’s to 5 more weeks of living with purpose, giving in love, and glorifying our Creator in all we do here in Guate.

Kristen